Author Note: Mom, if you’re reading this I’m very sorry. P.S. it’s already too late to ground me
Wedding Crashers is one of my favorite Owen Wilson movies of all time. The sheer thought of two people crashing strangers weddings in of itself makes for a great story. Even at the age of ten I wanted to see what it was like to crash a wedding.
Movies and television make it look like it’s easy. How hard could it really be? You just walk in in a nice suit or dress, get on the dance floor and whenever someone asks who you are, just say you’re and old childhood friend. Simple enough right?
Nope! In fact, this can’t be any further than the truth. Not only are weddings pretty hard to get into without an invite, but if the maid of honor gets wind of you, it’s game over! But, if you’re – say- a small child who just really likes cake, no one gives you a second thought.
As an adult I see no plausible way to crash a complete strangers wedding for a whole night without getting caught. But as a child l, that’s a different story. So here is how nine year old me “accidentally” infiltrated a strangers wedding when I was camping with my family.
Let us go back to the year 2006 where I spent a huge chunk of my childhood riding bikes, trespassing with no remorse, and basically steeling property without any repercussions. Basically speaking, I was a pretty bad kid and I got away with a lot. My family owns a lot at an RV park in Central Florida where I spend almost every weekend of my childhood. This is also where i met my oldest friend who I still get in trouble with on a regular basis.
When I say I got away with a lot. I truly mean that I got away with a lot. Whenever we were camping we had no internet, no TV, and not really much to do except ride our bikes and play outside. This created moments of boredom that often sparked into many more moments of creativity and chaos. To this day the workers at this park still know me, my siblings, and my friend.
One day myself, one of my hometown friends, and my brother were bored with absolutely nothing to do. It was the off-season, everything was closed, and the weather was taking a turn for the worst. In this campsite where was a small chapel that held services and yes, sometimes weddings. We were riding our bikes around and noticed that there were a lot more cars in the chapel parking lot than normal. When we asked one of the security guards they told us there was a wedding today. This new information and the impending childhood boredom gave us a pretty good idea.
What would happen if we just, went to the reception? What was the worst that would happen? We get kicked out before they cut the cake? No one was going to arrest a couple of tater tot looking children, therefore we went for it. Even though my brother decided to chicken out, my friend and myself went ahead with the plan.
To make a long story short, we obviously didn’t take in account that there would be adults who were concerned about two small children who no one else recognized just sitting at a table eating cake. We were found out pretty quickly, as we should have been. We immediately fessed up and begged them not to tell my parents; and to our surprise, southern hospitality is in fact a real thing. Not only did they not tell my parents, but they also let us stay for the entire reception.
And that is the story of how ten-year old me semi-successfully crashed a wedding with one of my childhood friend. A few things I had taken away. First, wedding crashing is not an actual thing. Second, kids can get away with basically murder if they’re nice about it. And three. Maybe let’s not try to recreate Owen Wilson Movies.
My only real regret from this was that I never got to see any of the photos of me at the wedding. If anyone was at a wedding in 2006 and there was two awkward looking children there, then please hit me up!
So, would you crash a wedding if you had the opportunity?
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